I think the minute we stop fighting to find our peace et al, we will find ourselves. All those Tai-Chi classes...those yoga sessions, those therapies that fill our empty lives...are they really serving any purpose?
Why do we fight with ourselves? And why do we fight to keep the things, people we love or desire within our reach? We are weak people....we cannot let go without our comfort zones. We pretend to fall in love with people who are exactly like us, and then, we leave them, because they are so disturbingly similar. All the time we try and convince ourselves 'But I did love him...it just didn't work out.' Note how the past tense creeps in. Weak indeed.
Sometimes, when people ask me 'What makes you really, really, deliriously happy?' If I try and say 'Two scoops of chocolate icecream in a waffle cone and a long walk on the beach or on a cobble stoned path with little hanging lamps', they laugh. Say I am too idealistic. I guess our idea of happiness changes with the times.
All the fight has gone out of me. I shall wait for change. I shall wait for the day when I will be happy. Waiting is the very essence of us weak people. Like Piet Hien once said in his poem:
Put up in place
where it's easy to see,
the cryptic admonishment
T.T.T.
When feel how depressingly
slowly you climb,
it's well to remember that
Things Take Time.
---Piet Hein